한번 들으면 잊지 못하는 그런 말들이 있다.
While searching for reference images of different butterflies, I stumbled upon a blog by a butterfly enthusiast in Korea. Amazed by the massive amount of entries solely dedicated to butterflies in Korea, it was purely by chance that I clicked one post titled "Short story about 미접".
미접(迷蝶) is a Korean word which can be translated into ‘a butterfly that got lost’, ‘a butterfly that has lost its way to go’, or, in short, ‘a lost butterfly’. It refers to a butterfly that has been observed in an area where it is not originally from carried by a typhoon or seasonal winds. In the post, alongside these explanations, there was one image of the lost butterfly (2000, August, Busan) with ragged wings, presumably because of the typhoon.
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Hoping to learn more about this word, I checked another website:
"Foreign butterflies that come to Korea and live here for a while, carried by wind, ship, airplane, or other factors. These butterflies are called 미접 (迷蝶-lost butterflies). […] Currently, 20 species are classified as 미접, and are expected to continue to increase due to global warming and other abnormal climates. Recently, the habitats of some 미접 have been confirmed in the southern coastal area, including Jeju Island, and are classified as indigenous species rather than non-native species."
I could not pinpoint what it was, but there was something about this word that fascinated me.
Was it because I recognized all those actions taken by butterflies—surviving a typhoon, being part of international logistics, or moving to new places searching for a better environment? Was it because this word sparked my silly imagination—numerous fluttering butterflies got lost due to strong offshore winds in the Netherlands? Or was it because I suddenly projected myself as a foreign butterfly carried by a 13-hour plane flight?
Once I identified myself with 미접, the expression of "a lost butterfly" complicated my mind. I began to circle around the beauty coming from the poetic expression of “lost butterfly” and the discomfort coming from the subtle questioning, ‘why are you here?’ lurking in this expression. More thoughts and questions began to emerge: “am I lost?”, “I’m not lost”, “well, maybe sometimes”, “but not all the time”, “although getting lost sounds beautiful”, “well, getting lost is painful”.
While feeling dizzy, still one thoughts after another, I thought of friends who also moved
are moving
will move away.
"Because I cannot stand here anymore…"
A friend told me while saying goodbye.
"Sometimes I feel like what the hell am I doing here…"
Another friend finished the sentence with a soft sigh.
"I truly admire people who have moved and lived here for more than 10 years. I want to say them ‘멋지다고’…"
Another friend mumbled through the phone.
"Because… I really like how I am here."
Another friend told me while eating chips.
"Yeah, I couldn't find any job before the expiration of my visa."
Another friend texted me the other day.
Some words just stay with you. You don’t know why. But you just never forget...